Living on Mars...

I am surrounded by males.

I live in a house with:

One husband.
Two sons.
One Tyrannosaurus-Rex dog.
Three cats.

All of whom are male, except for one of the cats. We decided to risk the title of "Crazy cat people", and adopted her in order to chill out the males, because they hate each other, and are not shy (or quiet) about expressing that hate.

This was a massive fail, as the female - Azaria - is petrified of everything, and will not stay still for long enough to be of any benefit to anyone. She comes inside to eat, if no one is looking, but that is all. Once The Attack got lucky and caught her, convinced that she needed a "hold" (everything needs a "hold"...) That did not end well. One year olds do not have the required skills (or body armor) needed to deal with an onslaught of that magnitude.

So, I went off on a bit of a tangent there, but the point was this: Boys. Everywhere.

This isn't inherently a bad thing, I like boys. It can just be a lot sometimes.

Boy-cats, who are nearing their "twilight years" are not overly pleasant to begin with. They are whiney. And mopey. And get really mad when you move them off of your seat. Add to that the seething hate they have for each other, and you get a spray-fest with each of them trying to claim territory in the house, even though they have lived together for seven years. (Yes, they are both neutered, and shouldn't be spraying, their hatred makes them freaks of nature.)
They have been confined to the lounge if they are inside now, as for some reason the lounge is neutral territory, and they are content to simply glare at each other across the room.

Boy-humans are much more pleasant, but tend to come complete with an obsession for cars. This appears to be a factory setting, one that could only be changed with vast modifications prior to importing.

In our house, there are little cars everywhere. There are cars in the bath, and cars in the beds. They are in every corner, and on every surface. If you sit down on the couch, and it's a bit uncomfortable, check under the cushions. There will be cars.
I recently went to make a coffee, and found a car in the mug I was about to use. No big deal, get a new mug.... oh, another car, what a surprise. Maybe I'll try this one... or this one..... or this one. Yes, you get the idea, a car in every mug. Splendid.

Little cars are taking over the world.

Also, there is boy-talk. I now know more about construction and demolition vehicles than I ever thought possible. (Or necessary.)
It is a little hard being schooled in the basics by a baby:

Me: "Look, Ash, there's a bulldozer!"
The Attack: "No dozer! itza GWADER mummy."

So sorry. Yes, yes it is a grader.

Other hot topics of conversation in our house this week: Spiders, monsters, fighting spiders and monsters, remote controlled people, and the benefits of not wearing pants.

Mark is great for grown up talk, and can usually be counted on for a decent ethical debate. (I do love a good ethical dilemma...) He's not much good at discussing ponies and sparkly things though... I mean, he'll give it a go, but I can tell his heart just isn't in it.

Not that I really have an uncontrollable urge to start singing about unicorns and all things pink, and I really do love all the quirky, messy, unpredictable maleness that fills my days. It's just that sometimes, after spending an hour talking about the various bodily functions able to be performed in a bath, and their corresponding hilarity rating, it would be nice to talk to someone who understands why it's important to wear pants in public.


xox