I have been absent for a while. You could be forgiven for thinking that I must have been kidnapped by poachers who were trying to locate the whereabouts of my secret unicorn sanctuary so they could harvest unicorn horns to sell as hats for evil little garden gnomes. But you would be wrong.
I have been busy. (Yes, yes I know that's exactly what a secret unicorn savior would say, but it's still true.)
So, here's what's been going on:
#1: We brought a house.
The whole process - from finding out that our rental was going to be sold, to locating a place we wanted to buy and moving in, took about 6 weeks.
This was actually quite a fun process for me, (even through I wanted to build because I really don't like second hand stuff that other people have put their smells and general grubbiness on. Issues much? Maybe....)
So anyway, we saw several houses which were all decidedly average, and I gained great appreciation for real estate agents and their ability to make everything sound exciting. ("You'd just have to knock out those 6 walls and put in another bedroom and a bathroom, get a dishwasher installed, fix that hole in the floor and paint over the graffiti on the walls, then it would be perfect!" / "Who doesn't want four bidets in their house!?!" ) It was awesome.
Eventually we found our house. Like we literally walked through the front door, and knew it was our house. We put an offer in that day, and four weeks later we were living there.
FYI apparently when people sell their houses, they don't bother to clean them. I mean, they'd put in some token effort, but really.... is that my burnt up crumb mess in the oven? Is that my soap scum in the shower? Are those my 8 million sun faded stickers on the window? Well, yes actually, legally they all belong to me now. Splendid.
Also, it seems to be considered acceptable to just leave all your old garden accessories behind when you sell a house. I hate garden accessories. Especially gnomes. We're still finding ornaments and little "welcome" plaques stashed everywhere. I'm going to start a burning pile.
#2: Connah started school.
I know right!?! How is that even possible?!? He is a tiny, tiny child! Except that he's not. He's actually quite giant now.
I transitioned him for three days, which basically consisted of me sitting on a moppet sized chair for 6 hours a day watching him, and avoiding the disapproving glares of various faculty members.
I was politely informed that it was customary for parents to only stay for an hour or two when introducing their child to the school.
I was told that if a parent stayed for extended periods of time that it would only make it harder for the child to adjust.
I was asked if I was a teacher's aid / if my child had special needs / if I had a job. Because obviously only jobless wanna-be teachers with special-needs children hang out at school for three days.
I wanted to shake them. Because they so didn't get it. I don't care what has worked for the majority of children in the past, I don't care if I am not doing things in a way that they are familiar with, and I definitely don't care if it makes them uncomfortable to feel like I'm scrutinizing them for three days. 'Cause I kinda am.
I had made an agreement with Connah: I would stay with him for three days - in the background, not interacting with him, but just being there so he could feel secure while he acclimated to his new environment. I believe in what I am doing - short of hog-tying me and dragging me off to be cannibalized, they were not getting rid of me.
Since then he has been doing awesome. The kid just soaks up knowledge, it's incredible to watch.
#3: The Attack started childcare.
I spent three days helping him to adjust, and he took to his first week like a rock star.
Since that first week, he's gone backwards a bit, and now gets upset when I leave him there in the morning. This is horrible for me, because Ash is usually happy. Like, crazy happy. He is emotional - he cries easily when he's angry, frustrated, hurt or scared (mosquitoes are his latest fear, one just has to fly in his general direction and he's screaming like it's a 12 foot tall spidergater. With rabies.) but he doesn't often get sad. When the Attack is upset because he's sad, it's like something has turned his spark off, and you just want to kick whatever did it in the face, because the spark should never be turned off. And then I remember that it's all part of the learning and blah blah blah and I stop kicking inanimate objects in the non-existent face. But I still want to.
He bounces back from these episodes like you wouldn't believe. One minute you'd think the world had come tumbling down on his tiny little shoulders, and the next he'll be two inches away from your face dancing while trying to pull the funniest face in all the land. He is pretty awesome.
He is quite social at daycare, and interacts well with the other children. This week they have been collecting shells. He comes home with pockets full of shells which he says that he and his friends dig for in the sandpit. He gives these shells to me with the instruction that I must keep them. Forever.
So I have been busy. Not so much physically busy, although it did take me an hour and a half to pack Connahs lunchbox the first time. I now have it down to fifteen minutes - I feel like that's quite an achievement. Also, my six minute drive to work has been upgraded to an hour because of the various drop-offs. No, my busyness is mainly mental, because inside my head it sounds like this:
*I hope Ash isn't feeling sick at kindy... he did say his ear hurt this morning.*
*Connah forgot his bookbag! No, he didn't, I put in in the front pocket. Yes he did! He took it out to read his story! No, no, I definitely remember him putting it back in when he put his sweater on.*
*Did we remember to switch the power company over to our new accounts?*
*How am I going to stop the dog from smashing his face against the aviary?*
*It's lunch time at school... I wonder if Connah has any friends to play with yet....*
*It's lunch time at kindy..... I wonder if Ashden is going to eat, or just starve because he doesn't like what they give him...*
*What the hell am I supposed to do with 16 garden gnomes?!*
*What if Connah is being bullied? I will fricken kill those bullies! No, then he might get bullied for his mother coming to save him... Maybe I can secretly kill them.... make it look like an accident or something..... *
*What if Ashden's hurt ear is actually some sort of exotic brain liquefying illness that's only symptom is ear pain until it's too late?!*
*What if our new house is haunted by evil, evil spirits who creep into our rooms at night and whisper evil, evil things directly into our minds so that we all turn into SERIAL KILLERS!?!?!*
You get the point. There is no room for pondering new blog posts when your brain is all full up of crazy. Fortunately, most of the crazy has gone now, and I'm just left with my regular amount, which I maintain is a perfectly acceptable amount to have.
So I will leave you there, with visions of sugar plums dancing in your head. Or more likely, with the thought that your own house might be haunted, and you too may become a serial killer.
Your welcome.
xox
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