Captive hearts...

I once read that becoming a parent is like having your heart get up one day and start walking around outside your body.

When I first heard this, I thought "Yes! that is exactly what it's like!"

Because on the surface, it sounds like the description of a sweet but strong bond between a parent and their child. And it is. But once you grow accustomed to that warm glowy "bond", you realize that it is an extremely dangerous way to conduct your existence - being linked so completely to another being, that it's destruction will mean your own.

It also doesn't help that this "being" is free to frolic about independently, is virtually helpless, and has no concept of it's own physical safety.

So I make no apologies for having a minor panic attack whenever one of my boys is not exactly where I expected them to be - always having our small children within our line of sight is hardwired into us, a survival instinct not just to protect them, but to protect ourselves. It must date back to cavemen days when if they happened to wander off alone, they would be promptly eaten by a Saber tooth tiger....

But our hearts are not made to live outside our bodies indefinitely. And as our children grow older, we are faced with the daunting task of claiming small pieces of it back, so that we are capable of standing aside, and letting them fight off their own Saber tooth tigers.

Stupid parenting.

It would be so much easier if I could just kill all the tigers....


xox

To wish upon a star...

I read a quote recently, which stated something like: "I wish I was little again, when the hardest choice was picking which colour crayon to use."

I really didn't like being a child. Even though I wasn't capable of making choices for myself, the absence of them was still suffocating. I have never wished to go back to being little - I'll take the hard decisions of being an adult any day. At least I get to decide.

It did make me think though (apart from how much I hated being a child...) about what my boys wish for. Here's what made the list:

Connah's wish list:

#1: To have sticky enough hands to be able to climb walls.
- Spiderman obsession...

#2: The ability to make inanimate things "work".
- Connah has a great imagination... he'll construct (Or dictate the construction) of black spider suits (with legs made of stuffed socks pinned to his shirt), or tankers (cardboard box with a cardboard tube for a cannon), or webs (a ball of wool strung around everything in a room). But once completed, he expects his inventions to "work." The spider sock legs don't walk. The cannon doesn't shoot. He can not dangle from the web. That sucks. He plays with his constructions, but It's evident that he is disappointed that it's not "working" like it was supposed to.

#3: A never ending supply of silly string.
- To make webs.

#4: To have a fast forward button for the world.
- Things that Connah would fast forward include: Sleep, kindy, and time out.

Ashdens wish list:

#1: To be able to jump from the table to the couch.

#2: To have candy for breakfast. Every day. (Haha, I just realized that I could solve myself a daily drama if I'd just move the candy bowl out of the cereal cupboard.)

#3: To have a cat (or chicken) permanently attached to him.

#4: To have a mute button for the world.
- The Attack goes through phases of noises that he doesn't like. At the moment it's birds chirping. So a bird will fly overhead chirping it's happy little song, and you'll think "Oh, that's nice." Then you'll glance down to see if The Attack is enjoying the wonderful moment too.... and find him flat on his belly in the dirt, with his eyes squeezed shut, chanting "No! No! No! No! No Bird! No! No!"
A mute button may be helpful at such times.


So, if anyone knows any Fairies out there who are short on their wish filling quota - point them in our direction. Cause, the only things i can help with on those lists are the silly string, and the candy.

And they are not having candy for breakfast :p


xox