Fishing for Fyreflies...

I have recently had a couple of people ask me why I've named this blog "Fishing for Fyreflies". I kinda thought it was self explanatory, but maybe I'm just too close to the project, so, for anyone else that was wondering.....


I use this blog as a diary of sorts, so that I can record the steps the boys make in their journey towards adulthood.

But it's not really about them.

This is about my experiences as a parent.

I realized very early on, that I didn't want to use the traditional templates for child-raising that were readily available. There is no way that I'm going to use something that "didn't do me any harm." or "worked out fine in the end." I don't want things to just work out fine.

I want them to be spectacular.

This in no way means I'm hoping for rocket scientists, the careers or jobs the boys choose are irrelevant to me. I want them to be happy. Confident. I want them to know who they are.

This sounds relatively easy, right? But how many truly happy, confident, aware people do you know?

I know that there are going to be speed bumps, I am not aiming for smooth sailing here. Eventually, they will lie, they will hide things from me, they will do stupid things purely designed to give parents heart-attacks. They need to go through these phases - it's a way of taking ownership of their own lives, taking over the power that has always belonged to me.

So, for now, I feel like I'm standing on a boat, with 60 million other people (It's a big boat...), all fishing the same waters. I watch as people who have been here a lot longer than me pull in their lines, mostly bringing in sea trout, or salmon, with the occasional baby shark, and even a starfish.
I stand, and I watch, and I do not give up hope that in seventeen or so years, I'll be pulling up a different kind of catch. You see, I am not using squid or lugworm as bait. I am using pollen, because I am not hoping to catch a fish at all.

I am fishing for fireflies.


xox